Circle of Trust

As mention before, today was dedicated to the 22 fallen Veterans everyday to suicide. Being a Vet you would think I’m familiar with this understanding but I have to tell you the truth, I wasn’t. My head when I got out of the military was, I’m glad I’m alive. I’m grateful with a job, family, health and my head wasn’t messed up. I was focused and driven and I wouldn’t dare touch the VA. I didn’t need help. I had all those listed before in my life. The true Vets that are there right now need it. I went through some of the worse things in life that you can see. I’ve been tested and I made it. Others didn’t. That hit hard with me and I took the side of survivors guilt. Over time, developed bad habits, my family struggled with me and then my health was hit. My life was going down hill. I was at my heaviest at 355 and was drinking every night. But why? I thought I was good, I was fine because I had all my limbs but I wasn’t. My head wasn’t. My brain was effected so much by that war, I had no idea. I didn’t have any education in this field. Something I couldn’t see or touch, was killing me. I was dyeing alive. 3 years went with me knowing I was going to lose my hip and for 3 years I was in pain. That May 3rd changed my life. Since surgery I have changed the way I think and believe. I started going to counseling and started my claims process. In doing so, I’ve learned new things about my brain that I wasn’t aware of before. The fact that being at war puts your brain in stage of fear for an entire year and when we come back the brain needs the same amount of time to decompressed. And this is where the flip happens with us because at this time, we get hit with triggers. In the beginning those triggers happened a lot. Think of it as glass breaking. In the middle is where most of the glass is, you hit more pieces and triggers. As you traveled out, the pieces get more separated and spread apart. You can still hit those triggers, just as time passes, they become more distant in occurrences. I joined the military at 22, 18 yr old’s have 4 less years of brain growth and put in the same war. This is were the problem starts but has many many reasons later that leads to suicide. Our Vietnam brothers had it worse. If you see one, thank him or her. They made the same sacrifice and were told what to do. They followed orders but they sacrificed. What this country did them is exactly what is going on now. Maybe not the backlash they faced but the back turning and the no help is the same generation to generation. This needs to stop. All these names listed today were those of Veterans that couldn’t get the help. They tried, begged and slept outside hospitals for help and were denied because of the system. 22 Veterans die a day not because they are weak but because they can not control it. We have to be better, have to understand this and fight this cause. We are to young to be going through any of these experiences. Most of us knew what we were signing up for, but ALL us THOUGHT we would be protected when we came home because that right has now been EARNED. Carry on the mission and just be aware. All of us Vets have F3 in us, they just need to be shown F3 exist. Don’t be afraid of Shield Locks and Whetstones, please we need the very much