Circle of Trust

So its been a tough week for my wife and our family. She lost her grandfather, but he was more then just that. He was the foundation of her family. Started with kids young and had 6. Worked at Caterpillar and retired like the American dream. He struggled, but he made it though the tough streets of East Aurora. He was blessed with a spouse for over 60 years and they together demonstrated LEGACY. You see I wanted to focus my workout and message to describe what that word means to me. He left such a strong legacy that most do not follow. What we leave behind the children, houses, money and they all represent us but the biggest and most import, is your heart. We can have all the materialist things in life to pass down but none of that matters. Your heart, the way you raised your children will be felt for generations to come. I told the fellas back a couple of months ago, I went to The Ridge and Wrecked Ralph was the Q. His message was this: face anger and frustration with love. Through his life, he has seen the damage of what yelling and arguing with the M in front of kids can do to them. They piss us off, yes. We respond back to them with either our stern voice, yelling or not yelling but our tone is what they feel and understand. Being the man of house, doesn’t mean you have to be the scariest or baddest or strongest. It can also mean softness, kindness, showing a side that men can care and at times be sensitive. And this is what I’m struggling with them most. With 5 kids, 2 of them teething hard and the daily struggles with balancing my 4 yr old with basketball practice, my older daughter with softball practice and my oldest with swimming, life gets hard real quick and it was very easy for me to get frustrated and lose it. I’m learning to breathe, understand it from there eyes. And what I mean by their eyes is try to understand what they truly are seeing from there perspective. With my babies, its understanding they cant talk and tell me directly what’s bothering them or with my 4 yr old and his innocence. To my oldest twins, they are still only 11. Not 16. All still young kids. My goal is when the    hits the fan, not to yell. treat anger with love. Talk to them, don’t raise the voice and simply find another way to make it happen. We have to be the chain breaker in our relationships with our kids. Try and show them that you don’t need to be dominant, mean or loud to get respect but respect comes with love and loyalty. My M’s grandpa and my father show the what it is to be passionate and understanding and to love rather then be directed by anger.