02/09/2021 - The Citadel - The Citadel is way closer than I thought
AO: The Citadel
When: 02/09/2021
PAX:
Number of Pax: 12
Pax Names: Buttermaker, DJ Sump Pump, Flo, Handy Manny, Miami Mike, Puddin Pop, Puddles, Rusty, Sweet Gherkins, The Wedding Planner, Toadstool,
DR Names: 0
Number of FNGS: 0
FNG Names: ET
QIC: Nacho Libre
Introduction
Living in Woodridge where I’m 6 minutes from Iron Lion, 11 minutes from Dark Tower, 15 from the Complex, and 20 minutes from the Outpost, I assumed that I would need to leave Monday night to make it to the Citadel by 5:15 AM. However, I decided to chance it and leave Tuesday morning. Having packed my breakfast, lunch, snack, change of clothes, extra headlamps, batteries, a diary, coupon, flare gun, snow shoes, axe, compass, atlas, and a copy of War and Peace, I figured I had enough to start off on my journey. Did you know it only takes like 20 minutes to get to the Citadel?! I got there so early I creeped out the snow clearing crew. Don’t know why, lots of people drive around in circles in a parking lot mapping out running routes and checking for ice while dressed like they are about to hold up an old west bank vault. Either way, I made it in plenty of time and full of excitement.
This “excitement” soon changed to pure panic as I exited the car with my coupon only to cringe at the stingy cold air. I had no fear though because I simply assumed that everyone would else would use their brains and stay home leaving me alone in a parking lot come 5:15 with a mere 20 minute drive home ahead. This was inaccurate to say the least. Outside of Toadstool, I think everyone was there milling about at least 5 minutes early, most folks were 10 minutes early. Less I forget, that makes you all weirdos.
A dozen PAX got down to business in a 1 degree game time temp.
Warm-O-Rama
Motivators from 7 – I forgot which number we were on an completely screwed up the last 2 sets. Nothing like making a great first impression.
15 Abe Vigotas
15 arm circles forward
15 arm circles backward
15 overhead claps
15 seal claps
Mosey for 1/4 mile
The Thang
Thang 1 (all exercises done together in cadence):
Shouldered coupon reverse lunge – 10 per leg
Chest press – 10 per arm, modify to 20 using both arms
Penny pinchers – 5 per arm, modify to 10 using both arms
Run 1/4 mile, wait on the six by doing jump squats
Squats – ass to coupon -15 reps
Waiter curls – 15 reps
Thrusters – 15 reps
Run 1/4 mile, wait on the six by doing jump squats
Rocky Balboa on a coupon – 20 reps
Sitting shoulder press – 20 reps
Coupon swings – 20 reps
Run 1/4 mile, wait on the six by doing jump squats
Thang 2: Tire throw competition – For all of the exciting play by play action, you’ll have to read the Naked-Man-Moleskin. Teaser alert – It was the closest we have had yet and the championship round just got a bit more interesting.
Thang 3: Pyramid of Merkins
Q does 1, group does 1; Q does 2, group does 2, Q does 3, group does 3, etc. up to 10 and then back down. For those of you counting at home, that’s 100 merkins in around 4 minutes.
Mary – 25 big boys
Circle of Trust
Before I get into what I actually said, allow me to apologize to the poor PAX that had to sit and listen to my rambling nonsense. Between the poorly connected stories and the lack of clear thought, I’m surprised I wasn’t boo’ed. For those of you that can Q constantly and provide worthwhile CoT’s, my hats off to you. Fell flat on my face with this one. I’ll do my best to summarize and try to salvage a point here in the backblast.
A fly lands on a bulls horn and makes himself at home. Stays there for awhile but decides that he doesn’t like how much the bull is moving around. The fly yells at the bull and gets his attention. “Hey you big dumb bull, if you don’t stop moving around I’m leaving!” Our bull, rather surprised, replied, “What the hell is that on my horn?”
This was a summarized version of a parable by Aesop. Not one of his best but it reminded me of a situation I had at work once. A big VP type gave a speech to my team and it was filled with comments of which I did not agree nor approve. Feeling rather important, I told the guy sitting next to me that I was going to march over to him and tell him that if he spoke like that again, I’d quit! My friend next to me proceeded to bet me that not only wouldn’t the VP give a damn about me quitting but there was no way he even knew my name. Taking that bet, I stormed over to the big boss and said, “Pardon me but I need to talk to you about your comments.” He responded with, “Listen . . . fella, I’m busy right now.” Then he walked away.
These two stories reminded me that I’m rarely, if ever, as important as I think. I explode at the dumbest, least important things in the world. Moving forward, I’m going to try and keep life in perspective and not take everything so personally. I challenge each of you to do the same.
Naked Man Moleskin
Wow, just rereading that train wreck of a CoT gives me the douche chills. With that said, onto the good stuff!
Despite my phone and speaker being fully charged when I left my car, both were completely drained in this cold within 15 minutes. I’m pretty disappointed because this crowd looked like it could appreciate my strange obsession with bands that have horn sections. Oh well, guess I’ll just have to come back when the weather breaks and try it again.
Rusty has the single strangest NoR routine I’ve ever seen. It’s as though he is introducing himself to the lucky bachelorette on an early 80’s dating show. It’s kind of awesome.
Buttermaker traveled from the east like an Iron Lion wise man to party at the Citadel this morning. Much appreciated.
Flo was my site Q today and I couldn’t help but think we must look like the Chief and McMurphy from One flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest. He’s big, strong, and quiet while I’m bouncing around just begging for a lobotomy. I think we make a pretty good team and really appreciated the help today. Thanks, Flo.
This Puddin Pop character has all the trappings of the next big time F3 success story. What a heart! I’ll need to see you at the Iron Lion sooner rather than later, good Sir.
Wedding Planner and I had a nice conversation during a mosey about the importance of rest days. Handy Mandy told us that’s why we have Sundays then sprinted past us. Dude is a machine.
My buddy Toadstool rolled in a tad late but brightened the workout none the less. I’ve never seen this guy doing anything but smile. Great crossing paths with you again.
F3 Tire Toss Championship – Regional qualifier – Citadel
We had some big old boys tossing that rubber around today! Though us slightly more petite of stature HIMS provided strong showings today was a day for the big dogs to shine. Flo, ET, and Puddles gave it a ride but it came down to the savvy veterans. A dead tie between Handy Mandy and Buttermaker left us all on the edge of our seats for the overtime round. The final toss was just a bit too much for Handy Mandy as Buttermaker edged him by a few inches taking the crown for Citadel.
Our current finalists are Baby Hands, Blues, Clues, and Buttermaker. Keep an eye out for Nacho Libre’s next three Q’s (The Complex on Saturday, Dark Towner and Iron Lion TBD) as those will be the final three regional qualifiers.