Circle of Trust

A couple weeks ago I shared in a CoT about the loss of our son at 20 weeks. Well, after that happened a year later we were blessed to have our daughter.

But the joy was short lived. As soon as our daughter was born we were immediately checked out of the maternity ward, told good luck and checked into the cardiacric unit. My M had an irregular heart beat and required a surgery to correct that. She was running heart beat per minute of 105 to 185bpm non stop for 16 years and her heart was down to 20% functioning. The blessing in all of this was that our daughter’s birth caught this heart issue just in time. That was an unexpected new journey for both of us first as a first time infant parent, me playing caretaker to my M and also being the sole income earner for our family.

I was scared of the unexpected. To lose my M and become a single parent, to simply be a good parent and all of the unknown scenarios that could follow. My mind was all over with 10,000 different scenerios that made sense and others that were just wild and likely to never happen. I wasn’t t sleeping because of our newborn but also worried that my M might not wake up. At the end of eaxh day, everything I tried to do was out of my control.

What I was able to control was my daily attitude and my daily effort. I decided early on to be positive, encouraging and uplifting to all those that were helping, asking and around us. Our families were worried, didn’t know what to do and they needed a positivity leader. That was me. I also made a focus on my daily effort. I didn’t know what I was doing as new a Dad to a newborn while being a caretaker and while having a the only income job but I did one small thing at a time and gave max effort. Being there for doctor calls, being first up to get the baby, answering the call from a family members who were asking the questions we didn’t want to hear. The job did suffer focus a bit but I made the best effort possible to keep everything going as best as I could by being thankful for the flexibility and understand of my coworkers.

There is an election tomorrow and there are again a ton of scenerios that could happen. There is a ton of worry, stress, anger and a ton of divide based on what could or might happen with our countries leadership. I am not worried, stressed, bothered, triggered or angry about the week ahead. Why? Because I know the majority of this is out of my control.

Instead of focusing on what could happen or go wrong I’m focused on staying positive and doing what I can. So focus on what you can control. You can vote, and you can have a an optimistic attitude with those around you in your circles and you can continue to put effort into all that you do. Be the light of positivity amongst the negative, be optimistic and put your full effort into what you can control. Aye!