02/06/2021 - Iron Lion - From the Desk of Mr. Curds
AO: Iron Lion
When: 02/06/2021
PAX:
Number of Pax: 13
Pax Names: Baby Hands, Callahan, Chain Link, Goldberg, House Arrest, Mellencamp, Mr. Nice Guy, Nacho Libre, Patchouli, Rainman, Seadoo, Sputnik, Sulley,
DR Names: N/A
Number of FNGS: 0
FNG Names: N/A
QIC: Curds
Introduction
From the Desk of Mr. Curds, transcribed by Nacho Libre:
Gentlemen,
Winter hath waken upon us, noble souls, as the glinting grey of a steel colored morn descends once more through the lighted black of a fallen snow’s morn. Harken to the bosom of thy bed you of hearty soul have not! Like a child fed tales of the workings of jolly elves, you choose to believe the embers do not still rage in the hearths of your homes.
Earth hardened as iron, wind moaning her song of lamentation, we wait no more to be stricken with the affliction of a February cry. Alas, we float we dance we fly!
Warm-O-Rama
“I don’t know Nacho, just make up some more of that poetry sh*t for this one too. Make me sound smart or tough or smart. I think we just knocked out some side straddle hops and then ran. By the way, can you look at this? That’s infected right? Think penicillin will just take care of it?*”
*At this point Nacho Libre chose not to follow Mr. Curd’s directions.
The Thang
“Split into two groups, even on this side and odd on this side. Come on, guys! We counted off, why would we have all evens. You 7 go over there. Now, this group head toward the cop shop and this group head toward the industrial park. Each time you finish a loop, grab a card and . . . ”
At this point Nacho Libre stopped listening to Mr. Curds because his ear drums had officially frozen and his balls were trying to ascend past his stomach and into his throat due to the 3 degree temperatures. However, I think we are supposed to grab a card and the team with the most cards wins. Oh boy, I can’t wait to see what the winner gets!
We ran for a long time and the winners got nothing. In hindsight, I think Curds used that deck of cards to commit a crime of some sort and just needed our fingerprints on them to establish an alibi. I can’t prove that but my brain hasn’t completely thawed as of yet.
We finished with planks, scissor lifts, and American hammers.
Circle of Trust
No jokes on this one as Curds led us in beautiful prayer.
Naked Man Moleskin
On this whole Curd’s CoT subject, is there anyone better at leading a group in prayer than this guy? Honestly, I’m like 50% heathen and I’m even somewhat respectful during it. Succinct, eloquent, and poignant each and every time. Well done, Curds.
Ran with Mellencamp and Sputnik today and I am quite certain that they are both terrific fathers.
Baby Hands and Goldberg wore ski goggles while running today which prompted me to tell them how ridiculous they both looked. Then I caught a glimpse of myself wearing a balaclava with a bandana. I think I owe both of them an apology.
Congratulations to Sulley who hit his first 6 pack and then celebrated with Miller High Life’s in the parking lot of a school. Stay classy F3!
Patchouli was attached by a snow yeti who turned him into a member of ZZ Top. I’m sure the picture will be posted on slack.
Chain Link inspired a few of us to continue reading Harry Potter to our 2.0’s. Legit thanks on this and highly recommended for anyone with school aged 2.0’s. Everything else is cancelled, what else are you going to do?! Seriously, the results are instantaneous.
Congrats to Seadoo who set a PR with his run today. I believe he was just trying to run away from Curd’s who kept bragging about how he was going to have Nacho Libre write his BB for him.
In all truthfulness, it started out cold but the movement and fellowship quickly warmed us all up. Each HIM out there would do it again so don’t be afraid of the temps, boys. It was totally worth it.