11/02/2021 - The Outpost - LST – Outpost – 11/2/21
AO: The Outpost
When: 11/02/2021
PAX:
Number of Pax: 5
Pax Names: Buttermaker, HH Gregg, Shirley Temple,
DR Names:
Number of FNGS: 0
FNG Names: Lumpy Fields (not in tracker)
QIC: Bartles and Jaymes
Introduction
***Trigger warning***
We don’t get up for easy, and we don’t get tired. And we pray almost every day that the workouts we do are the hardest thing we face. And we do hard things in order to handle hard things, but my preblast was apparently too much for most PAX to handle, so warning that if you read anything else, you might feel offended. Have fun!
Preblast – The Outpost – Late Start Time – Tuesday, November 2nd – 6:15 AM
Time is money. As one computer said, if you’re on the train and they say portal bridge you know you better make other plans.
Look, fat! You’re a damn liar!
Cause if you could take care, if you were a quartermaster, you can sure in hell take care runnin’ a, you know, a department store uh, thing, you know, where, in the second floor of the ladies department or whatever, you know what I mean?
And by the way, you know I sit on the stand and it’d get hot. I got a lot of — I got hairy legs … that turn blonde in the sun. And the kids used to come up and reach in the pool and rub my leg down so it was straight and then watch the hair come back up again.
Let’s go, Brandon!
HC below.
Warm-O-Rama
WoR
Good Mornings x10
Tappy Taps x10
High knees x20
SSH x20
The Thang
Mountain climbers x20
BBSU x15
American Hammers x20
Pickle pointers x15
Paddle boats x20
Freddie Mercuries x15
Repeato AB exercises
Hold low plank – 1 minute
Gherkins x15
11s
BBSU x reverse crunch kicks
Hold low plank – 1 minute
LADDER
LBC x5
Outlaws clockwise x10
V crunch x15
Flutter kicks x20
Heel touches x25
Flutter kicks x20
V crunch x15
Outlaws counter clockwise x10
LBC x5
SSH x15
Mosey
1 down 2 ups x20
Mary
Ab-bomb-inations x 30
Cobra stretch
Circle of Trust
I had an entire workout planned that was themed “Gulliver’s Travels”. It was pretty cool, I think, and in loved team competition, a bunch of new twists on some exercises, and was themed around political mockery, starting with Lysistrate in 411 B.C., and then covering Gulliver, A Modest Proposal, a history of political humor in Egypt, and then our own history of political mockery here in the US. There was a great lesson in not only why ridicule keeps the powerful in check, but keeps us from turning the political into the sacred. Don’t get so attached to people that you can’t accept that they are all in fact, people.
But I scrapped all that when I had only one HC. And from the feedback Buttermaker and I received, clearly my very, very pc humor in my backblast was too offensive for people to come out, proving my point.
I particularly wanted to focus on Khasha Zwan and James Sanua for their sacrifice and using humor and even dying in defense of personal freedom.
So, I scrapped it all, skipped early run club, and reworked the entire workout to be entirely AB focused.
I apologized to Buttermaker for depressing the LST attendance, and we all stood for the Pledge of Allegiance.
Naked Man Moleskin
Seriously, the most serious mockery in my preblast is the completely harmless phrase of “Let’s Go Brandon.”
The entire rest of it was simply writing down exactly what the current most powerful public figure in the United States has said. That’s not even mockery, that’s quoting. I’m not sure why someone would be offended by reading something goofy that someone else has said, but if that includes you-lighten up.
Everyone says stupid shit, and everyone gets mocked for it. That’s life. You should be stronger than that. I am sorry that less people came out than normal, but I will not apologize for skewering what is clearly a sacred cow. No room for false idols in my world.
Freed to lead. Sua sponte. I’m not asking for permission, or forgiveness.
Khasha Zwan was executed by the Taliban thanks to the cowardice of our current leaders, and for daring to mock them. And he insulted them right to the very end. That’s real sacrifice, and nothing we do in the morning comes close to that, and whining about some words is just flat out embarrassing.
But to finish and be fair, if quoting the most popular president in US history is so traumatic because he’s too weak to handle it without you taking on the emotional baggage for him, here are some books to balance out and let you know the world really is okay, and right-leaning people are clearly more dumber.
George W. Bushisms
Ultimate George W. Bushisms
Deluxe election edition George W. Bushisms
Still more George W. Bushisms
George W. Bushisms V
More George W. Bushisms
George W. Bushisms farewell tour
A very stable genius
The Beautiful poetry of Donald Trump.
The Wisdom and Wit of Sarah Palin (it’s blank! Get it, because she’s so dumb!)
Don’t worry, though. This is my first and last Q for the year, so you’ll never have to worry about mean words to cut and slice you again. I’ll still bring post-beatdown covefefe for everyone, though.
I’m Bartles, this is Jaymes, and we thank you for your support.