02/16/2021 - Iron Lion - Rainbow Unicorn Robot Princess Fun Time
AO: Iron Lion
When: 02/16/2021
PAX:
Number of Pax: 12
Pax Names: Baby Hands, Belichick, ChainLink, Cousin Eddie, Ebeneezer, Glass Joe, Goldberg, Mellencamp, Patchouli, Rainman, Sputnik, Sulley,
DR Names:
Number of FNGS: 0
FNG Names: N/A
QIC: Nacho Libre
Introduction
First of all, the title of this workout was completely made up in order to grab some attention. I also have to giggle when I read that the name of the BEATDOWN at IRON LION is “Rainbow Unicorn Robot Princess Fun Time”. Regardless, this morning began with no rainbows, no robots, not even a princess unless you count Baby Hands (that’s what you get for being late). We did have a unicorn spotting though because Patchouli was in attendance. Convince me that giant, athletic, snow yeti and darling of a human is not a Unicorn!
Second, it snowed. And then it snowed more. And then for fun, it snowed again. Yes, we workout in the cold and snow so no need to dwell on it. Did I mention it was cold and snowy? In all honesty, I know what it took to get a car out of a driveway this morning. Thank you to all the men who shoveled or snow plowed in order to break a sweat with me in the gloom this morning. Except Goldberg who has decided he will no longer shovel his driveway. Keep fighting the good fight, GB.
The mumble chatter was out of control and the energy was at a Spinal Tap 11.
Warm-O-Rama
Motivators from 7, 15 Abe Vigotas, 15 arm circles forward/backward, 15 seal claps, 15 overhead claps
The Thang
Thang 1:
Start with 5 thrusters, 10 kneeling coupon waiter curls, 10 1-armed coupon press, 10 butt-has-to-touch the coupon squats, 10 merkins (everything done together in cadence)
Run 1 lap around Lisle high school parking lot
10 thrusters, 15 kneeling coupon waiter curls, 15 1-armed coupon press, 15 butt-has-to-touch the coupon squats, 15 merkins (everything done together in cadence)
Run 2 laps around Lisle high school parking lot
15 thrusters, 20 kneeling coupon waiter curls, 20 1-armed coupon press, 20 butt-has-to-touch the coupon squats, 20 merkins (everything done together in cadence)
Run 3 laps around Lisle high school parking lot
Thang 2:
Iron Lion Regional Tire Toss Competition – Men lined up in two lines and threw a tire as far as they could. Top 3 competitors went to a final round and a winner was crowned. Results will be in the Naked Man Moleskin below.
Thang 3:
Pyramid of merkins – Q does 1 merkin, PAX do 1 merkin, Q does 2 merkins, PAX do 2 merkins, etc. We worked our way up to 10 and back down for a total of 100 merkins.
Circle of Trust
Told a Zen Parable:
There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically. “Maybe,” the farmer replied.
The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed. “Maybe,” replied the old man.
The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. “Maybe,” answered the farmer.
The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. “Maybe,” said the farmer.
I kind of think there are two lessons to be learned in this story. First, if anybody tells you they have the answers than they are full of shit. And second, be patient because it is only a matter of time before everything changes. Most of our kids will be home due to the snow, I challenge you all to have patience and to not raise your voice at them today.
Naked Man Moleskin
The mumble chatter was out of control today and I f’ing loved it. Some people say that chatter means you’re not working hard enough. I say people who say that probably just need a hug.
Glass Joe, did you notice that I didn’t complain about my shoulder one time today? That was for you, Sweetheart.
Chain link is still the quickest draw in name a rama history. Watch it on the Instagram, it’s something to behold.
Belichick not only did every merkin in the pyramid perfectly but the dude held plank in between every set. Age is just a number and that number is tougher and stronger than you and can beat you in a fight.
Sputnik is secretly becoming a damn monster.
My playlist was so bad today that even I was annoyed by me. At one point, Glass Joe asked if it was just shuffling through random pandora stations.
Big props to Cousin Eddie for the flag rescue. We were all so busy running to get out of the cold so we could stand in the cold outside Starbucks that we forgot the flags. Not CE, though. Thanks for picking up the 6 on that one.
Iron Lion Regional Tire Throwing Competition:
Despite outstanding performances from the likes of Rain Man, Belichick, and Ebenezer, the final pairing was the most obvious choices of any competition yet. Sully and Patchouli battled to the final round where Patchouli put on a display and took the title. The final standings were Patchouli in 1st, Sulley in 2nd, and Ebenezer (who maybe had the longest throw of anyone under 6 feet I’ve seen yet) came in a close 3rd. Congratulations Patchouli, you have punched your ticket to the finals. The Championship round will currently stands at Baby Hands, Blues Clues, Buttermaker, Blue Prints, and Patchouli. Please note that we have just two regional qualifiers still open, Dark Tower and Black Panther. Keep an eye out for Nacho Libre’s next Q at either location.