04/03/2021 - Iron Lion - Running is the worst

AO: Iron Lion

When: 04/03/2021

PAX:

Number of Pax: 11

Pax Names: Backdraft, Bootlegger, ChileDawg, Muggsy, Porch Pirate, Ronda Rousey, Seadoo, Sputnik, Sulley, The Wedding Planner,

DR Names:

Number of FNGS: 1

FNG Names: Molly Maid

QIC: Nacho Libre


Introduction

Everybody knows that the coolest cats show up for strength training workouts.  Weather was nice and the crowd was eclectic and awesome.

Warm-O-Rama

Knowing we were going to be throwing a little weight around, I spent a little extra more time on the stretch than normal.

Motivators from 7, 10 Abe Vigotas, 10 tappy taps, 10 arm circle forward/backward/seal claps/overhead claps/Moroccan disco dancers, 1/2 loop around the parking lot.

 

The Thang

Thang 1:

We started by making a big ol’ circle.  In the middle of said circle, was placed the Goldberg penny pincher machine.  What is that you may ask?  It’s about a 35lb, unbalanced, aluminum piece of nonsense but it has a pretty good handle that is easy to grip.  It was gifted to me by Goldberg during the pandemic. As a group and in cadence, we do an exercise while one PAX bear crawls to the center to perform 10 1 armed clean and snatch with the Goldberg penny pincher (5 each arm) and then bear crawls back.  Each time a new PAX begins with a bear crawl, the groups starts a new exercise in cadence.  We completed 2 rounds with a 1/2 mosey lap in between.  List of exercises below:

Round 1

  1. Merkins
  2. Thrusters
  3. Curls
  4. Goblet Squats
  5. 1 arm chest press
  6. Coupon reverse lunges
  7. Hydraulics
  8. Sitting Overhead Press
  9. single leg dead lift (no coupon)
  10. Rocky Balboas

Round 2

  1. Derkins
  2. Thrusters w/3 bounces at the bottom
  3. Goblet squats w/3 bounces
  4. Waiter or Reverse curls – you choose
  5. 1 arm chest press
  6. Bonnie Blairs
  7. Hydraulics – w/coupon
  8. Sitting overhead press – 1 arm
  9. 1 leg dead lift w/a coupon
  10. Coupon jump overs

Thang 2:

Nacho’s Mucho Macho Merkin Movements

Q does 10 reps of a merkin type and the PAX respond in kind:

  1. Standard merkins
  2. diamond merkins
  3. Breakdancer merkins
  4. right arm archer merkins
  5. left arm archer merkins
  6. tricep cross hand merkin push ups

Mary – Thors Ladder to 6 and 24 reps

Circle of Trust

Recently, my wife and kids went out of town so I found myself alone for the first time in almost 2 years.  Thinking I was going to be out partying late the whole time, I was asleep before 9:30 every single evening.  I’m a house cat now, totally domesticated.  What really got me most excited about being alone was longer coffeeteria after F3 workouts.  That was about it!  The weird thing though was I didn’t feel like I missed out on an opportunity to go crazy or just rage like I was 21 again.  When my family came home, I was thrilled to see them but fulfilled that I got some extra time with my PAX.  I don’t think it’s age or maturity but rather it’s the fellowship and dedication to being good men that I have found in F3 that has made life so much better for me over the past 2 years.  It might be hard to do in the moment but try and take stock of your life pre and post F3.  You’ll be shocked at the level of gratitude you feel and it might just inspire you to come out a bit more often and work a little harder.

Thank you F3. As the M told me last month, “F3 is the best thing to happen to you since meeting me.”

End with prayer – God, help me to remember that I will face nothing today that you and I together can’t handle.  Amen.

Naked Man Moleskin

Refill that coffee, kick the feet up, and relax because I got a LOT to say about this one!

You’d be hard pressed to find a more unexpected group of PAX than what we had Saturday morning at the early IL.  With that said, I will take just a moment to address each one of them:

  1.  Backdraft – He is still fasting like a Tibetan monk but it’s working like you can’t believe.  We were calling him Jason Stratham and it was not being done facetiously.  I’m not a doctor or dietician but if I were a PAX struggling with a significant amount of weight, I’d be asking my man a lot of questions.  The discipline is as impressive as the physical results.
  2. Muggsy – My form police brother was out there and I couldn’t have been happier.  Last winter while partnered up with Muggsy at an early outpost, we learned of each other’s complete disdain for bad form.  It warms the heart to think of those dead eyes staring through a man’s soul as he says with no inflection of emotion, “if you did that many reps than you’re either a liar or your form sucks”.  .  . I just get choked up thinking about it.  Either way, his tricep pushups and 1 arm sitting shoulder presses put me to shame.  If you want to get strong, drop the ego lifting nonsense and follow him.
  3. Ronda Rousey – I will proudly be Cal Naughton Jr to your Ricky Bobby forever.  Thanks for always being out there with me and crushing it.  It’s also fun to represent the old timers club with you.  The Iron Lion has this whole new generation of new age ass kickers (some of whom will be discussed shortly) but it’s nice to stroll down memory lane every now and again with an original.  We’ll have to have a reunion later with Mistletoe and Uncle Buck.
  4.  ChileDog – First of all, thank you Ronda for getting him back out.  Second, I was a kid on Christmas morning seeing ChileDog standing out there with coupon in hand.  I missed you brother and I’m just thrilled to have you back out.  I’ll be honest, I was a bit nervous for you because I remember those early struggles you had.  Either you’ve been secretly working on your own or the muscle memory came back quick because you looked damn good still.  Can’t wait to see you again real soon.  Does Uncle Rico know you are back?  He’ll be so excited.
  5. Wedding Planner – I was there on your first day.  You, Sweeney Todd, and some dude I named Pantera (who never came back again) hyperventilated your way through and finished with that famous, “F this place” look in your eyes.  Then you get the name “Wedding Planner” and I could tell you were pissed.  Fast forward and your crushing double workouts on a Saturday morning at the Iron Lion and throwing out that “W” with pride during the name a rama.  It has been a pleasure to watch you grow as a PAX.  Congratulations.
  6. Seadoo – You show up without fanfare, diligently get your work done, lead by example, and say very little but when you do  it’s thought provoking.  You are like the opposite of me.  You even have good hair.  Thanks for being there as always.
  7. Sulley – I’d like to congratulate you on your 9,127th post at Iron Lion.  There are models of consistency and there is Sulley.  He’s slightly more reliable than say a perpetual motion machine or a hand crafted swiss time piece.  If I showed up at IL one morning and the water park and Sulley were both missing I’d be more surprised that Sulley wasn’t there.  Thanks for having my 6 and rolling with the audible.
  8. Porch Pirate (and Molly Maid) – Between injuries and a grueling work schedule, I was nervous about Porchy’s return.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  PP shows up with a FNG and a chip on his shoulder.  Apparently, all those nights in hotels on the road working left him nothing to do but crank out merkins!  Looking strong, my friend.  Nice job in bringing out Molly Maid too.  He looked pretty good for a first timer, hope to see him regularly.
  9. Sputnik – I get this text from Sputnik Friday night, “going to be a game time decision tomorrow . . . depends on when I get to sleep.”  I just laughed knowing full well he’d be there bright and early.  I’ve told the story plenty of times before but Sputnik needed help carrying his coupon back to the car after his first workout.  In the past 2 weeks, I think he’s done 12 workouts including a House Arrest Black Diamond.  Ain’t nobody carrying his coupon anymore but him.
  10. Bootlegger – First time I worked out with Bootlegger was last summer.  That day I asked each guy to rep out as many merkins as possible without stopping.  When we were done, I asked everyone to try and do the same number again.  Bootlegger leans over to me and says, “if I knew we would have to do it twice I would have sandbagged my first number”.  He did 13 merkins that first round.  On Saturday morning, with full chest touch and elbow lockout, Bootlegger knocked out 25 merkins at a time without breaking a sweat.  I got to know Bootlegger when our kids first played little league together a handful of years back.  To see the growth from that person to today is something to behold.  Good luck as you navigate 75  hard and I just want you to know how damn impressed I am.

Cousin Eddie fart sacked the first workout but came roaring back for number 2.  Sometimes it takes a fart sack to remind you just how much some people give to this group.  CE, I know you give your heart and soul to us and you deserve a mulligan.  No worries.

Now, you will have to read part 2 of the the Iron Lion Saga as I write up the run club backblast!

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