08/06/2021 - The Bear - When in doubt, make no sense. No sense is good. And nonsense is good.
AO: The Bear
When: 08/06/2021
PAX:
Number of Pax: 16
Pax Names: Baywatch, Bootlegger, Buttermaker, Cage Free, Chazz, Dorn, Fathom, Glass Joe, Goldberg, Lobster Roll, Nosejob, Ronda Rousey, Sputnik, Townie, Urban Cowboy,
DR Names: N/A
Number of FNGS: 0
FNG Names: N/A
QIC: Nacho Libre
Introduction
The Bear 🐻 8/6 at 5:15 AM –
Gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story, and I need all of you, to stop what you’re doing and listen. . . Cannonball!
I can pretend like the workout will be life changing and horrifying but it will actually just be a bunch of sweaty fun with tons of mumblechatter. Bring a coupon and HC below. If you haven’t been to the Bear yet now is a great opportunity. It’s got everything – monkey bars, zip line, hills, fields, parking lots, a strange old Italian man who may or may not expose himself, British synth pop, a hibachi grill, balloons for the kids, 32 belly option on 1, Mr Nice Guy telling Chazz what he really thinks of him, surveillance cameras, Buttermaker’s famous sand walk, a lit dance stage with seating for 200, dogs, ducks, baseball fields, a cell phone accessory kiosk, basketball courts, paths, filthy Bostonians, and F3 Chicago converts!
P.S. only one thing on this list was made up, come tomorrow to find out which!
Warm-O-Rama
Motivators from 7, 12 good mornings, 15, arm circles front and back, forearm press 30 seconds, 15 tippy taps, farmer carry coupons to the park and leave them there then mosey to the base of the hill.
The Thang
Thang 1 – Head to hill for The Fire Hose Event
2 teams – 1 PAX pulls the fire hose up the hill until he reaches the kettle bells at the top, he turns and pulls the hose up the rest of the way. Once the entire hose is up, he picks his kettlebell (35lbs or 53lbs) and does 10 deadlifts then pulls the hose back down. Once he hits the start line, he turns and pulls the hose back in and the next man up goes. While the PAX pulls the hose, everyone else does an exercise in cadence:
Merkins
Squats
Big boys
Hold plank
Flutter kick
Backward lunges
Side strattle hops
The losing team then has to do 10 in/out planks into a jumping hand stand
Thang 2 – Obstacle course – start with 5 pull-ups (assisted if needed), balance beam (fall off restart beam), up and over climbing wall, monkey bars (fall off start monkey bars again), hand walk across the parallel bars (feet hit the ground start bars again) finish with 20 merkins.
The rest of the pax are doing coupon work OYO:
Curls
Dark tower press
Sumo squats
Thang 3 – 20 box jumps in cadence
Circle of Trust
It’s coming up on 1 year since my wife asked me to start a women’s workout group for her and her friends. I’m a real martyr as I ogle hot moms in spandex and I’m not called a creep for doing it.
Recently a woman joined the group – in her 50’s, 7 kids, successful, educated, and a breast cancer survivor and she put women 20-30 years younger through the ringer. From what I heard, she absolutely killed her VQ. With all his though, the lasting memory for my wife and all the women in attendance was when this woman told the rest of the group that she truly appreciated them and was impressed by the sacrifices they have made for their children. It then dawned on me – you can be a game changer, top of your field, Michael fucking Jordan but a sincere, kind word will leave a significantly stronger and more lasting impression on a person than damn near anything else you do. Show kindness today, give your son, give your daughter, give your wife, a coworker a sincere compliment and let them know you are grateful for what they do. You will make a real difference.
Naked Man Moleskin
First of all, I have to say that the vibe today was fantastic. The PAX that came out were engaged, hilarious, hard working, and ready for all of my nonsense. Thank you, Gents. It was a real pleasure to Q today.
Q Source followed the workout and was led by Chazz. This poor son of b*tch is desperately trying to keep people’s attention despite a thousand wiener jokes. It was a good thing Glass Joe was there to really steer the conversation and to provide such fantastic insight (wink). I do want to honestly thank Chazz for leading this every Friday. His commitment to the topics and his ability to scold me for interrupting is second to none.
The Cornbread was nice enough to give me some old fire hoses last year so I could incorporate them into my Q. However, when Baywatch asked this morning where I got the fire hoses, I told him some dumb fireman left his engine unlocked and I just grabbed them. I can’t remember if I ever told him that I was just kidding. Oh well, serves him right for expecting an honest answer from me in the first place.
Dorn and Urban Cowboy are such good friends because they are such good people. Seriously, they are the two best guys and extra props for helping me collect all my gear this morning.
Today’s workout was filled with PAX who fly under the radar but crush it. Bootlegger, Sputnik, Cage Free, Baywatch, and Nosejob have transformed since starting F3. Dudes are all vascular and sh*t. Good work, Gents.
This Lobster Roll has got site Q material written all over him.
Seeing Townie at 5:15 AM makes any day better. We started together many moons ago and seeing him in the gloom never gets old.
As you may or may not know, I claim to have EH’ed approximately 98% of all F3 PAX. Despite what Ronda or Goldberg tell you, 60% of the time I’m right every time. Speaking of these two star crossed lovers, they were probably the two best at the fire hose pull today. Lightning out of the shoot and strong all the way through, very impressive.
Buttermaker once asked me how to do more pull-ups. My thoughtful response was, “do more pull-ups”. I’m one hell of a coach, damn near world class because Buttermaker’s pull-up game is off the charts. I don’t think their is anyone who has a better mass to pull up ratio in F3. Dudes that big shouldn’t be able to do that many perfect pull-ups.
Glass Joe didn’t yell at me one time for my music selections so I must have done ok. Today’s playlist featured singers and bands that at one point in my life I thought were black but turned out to be white. Still not very good at it though as Gladys Night and the Pips as well as Cardi B are in fact not white. Learning everyday.
Fathom traveled down from F3 Palatine to party Bear style . . . that didn’t sound right. Either way, I appreciate the effort and thanks for kicking ass today.
Congratulations to Dorn who knew that the only thing I made up on my preblast list of the things you will find at The Bear was the cell phone accessory kiosk. But, I am pretty sure that someone has a bedazzler that would make your cell phone case look fabulous.