Naked Man Moleskin

I am so grateful to be part of this group F3, it has helped me get better and healthier in life. This day leaves a forever memory and life-changing event. The day before Oct. 17th 2020 I was working at my store on 87th and Washington when my M called me at 10:00 pm telling me that she started bleeding at her lower abdominal and that we need to go to the hospital right away; I live off of Liberty Street in Aurora so it is about 15 to 20 minutes away from my home, somehow by the grace of God I made it home safely after rushing through traffic swerving in and out to get home in less than 10 minutes to pick up my M and get her in the car, the dogs in the cage with food and water, and to the hospital ER in less than 10 minutes again. I guess when adrenalin kicks in and all your emotions are built up your mind focuses on so much that you can’t help but to move fast. As we got into the ER waiting room and checked in the nurses and everyone was quick to get us a bed and rushed her to an ultrasound to see what was going on. As she returned back from the ultrasound the face she had was telling me that we might be in for a long night, as we waited to hear back from the doctor after they reach our OB they finally came in and said that she has to be admitted and that we were being moved to the delivery rooms. The look on my face dropped and was worried about what was about to happen. It replays in my head over and over as if it happened yesterday, I could remember the room number, the time, the day, the weather, and the noises that each machine was making as they monitored her pain to find out that it was contractions she was going through. We were finally told what was happening which was my M was going into preterm labor and that our son which at the time we said: “the baby” was coming out. I tried my best to help find a way for my M to stop having pain. The time came at 04:00 on Oct. 18th, 2020 our son was born Angel Emmanuel Tellez, 7lb 40z. Hence the 74 in the workout counts.
I shared with everyone that since this day came I have done everything in my power to put on a smile on my face and act as if I am fine. I even acted around my M as if I was fine and that nothing was wrong. I know so many other people out there go through so much in my life that causes them to have depression, but my M was able to see right through me and could tell that no matter what I say that she knew I was not fine. Over the year we have had some tough battles that I was causing us to almost fall apart because I was lacking in my communication with her and opening up my feelings. It was not until the night before that I finally spoke the truth to her about how as I grew up seeing so much pain brought from death that I built a cold wall in my feelings to hold back my tears and my sadness. I felt that since my name is David and that in the bible David was looked at as a strong leader and warrior that is the way I am supposed to be and not show my feelings, but in reality, it was eating me up inside and destroying my marriage. Over the year there have been so many changes happening in my life that I started to feel depressed, losing my son was the worst of it all, I come to this group with a smile on and trying to cover it up and use it to move my focus to something else but after the 45 minutes are up and coffee is over, I still felt like something wasn’t right and still felt depressed inside. I know it is a long road to get over depression but finally opening up about it with my M and working it through with her and being there for each other I would be able to overcome it and start getting back to the happier me without forcing a smile on my face and acting fine. I am so thankful for this group and for everyone that has been there for us through this time. Sorry for the late post on the BackBlast but this one has been the most difficult for me.

Until next time,
CVS